May 9, 2013

CHUBBY Talk

You can be chubby forever.  But I don't want to be...chubby is no longer welcome here.

Enough with the "but you just had TWO babies" business.  Just to be perfectly clear...the twins are coming up on 6 months.  SIX MONTHS.  HALF A YEAR.  I can't ride through my early 30s on the tail of the having babies excuse.  Enough is enough.

Yes.  In the beginning, I was motivated.  When you're losing 6lbs/day for a week, it's a breeze.  You may or may not remember seeing this a few months back...


So, what happened?  Maybe I thought if I put it out there, I'd hold myself more accountable.  No.  Such.  Luck.  Here I am, 4 months later at pretty much the same weight.  How have I justified it?  I've said that if I hadn't been sort-of going and kinda doing Weight Watchers, I'd be up 15 pounds due to new momma stress.  I whole-heartedly believe this to be true.  When the babies are having a tough day, I find myself looking for the closest box of Cheez-its.  And possibly chocolate.  Possibly.  And if cupcakes were in the house, cupcakes...DEFINITELY cupcakes!

The problem?  I'm SICK of clothes not fitting, I'm TIRED of thinking I'll never get this off and I'm SO OVER being chubby.  I DESERVE to be the best me and I DESIRE to be a fit momma and to model healthy behaviors for my kiddos.

A lot of people hope to get back to their high school weight.  Not me.  My high school weight isn't too far from where I am right now.  I was never small growing up.  It wasn't until pictures like these (fall 2007)...





{gasp} that I realized I had WAAAAY more weight to lose than I thought.  With Weight Watchers and TONS of running, several years later (summer 2010), I looked like this...






Yes.  It took almost 3 years BUT I promised myself I'd stick with it (even through gains) and I did.  My trend was to lose about 30lbs/year and then gain 10 back until I was down 76 overall.

So, my goal is to get within 10 pounds of the 2010 me.  I've done it before.  I don't have as much to lose.  I'm capable of doing it again.  I'm a mom this time...which is an interesting twist but I'm not going to let that change my goal.  I just have to make some adjustments to make time for me.  I'll call this my official "before" pic...


How do I get there?  Ummm...yeah.  If you find the easy way out, let me know.  But from my yo-yo/tried it all dieting experience, there isn't one.  Until then, I'm still going to Weight Watchers but am currently doing the Advocare 24-day Challenge (cleanse).  I'm on day 5 and I'm already down 4.7lbs!  As the success continues, I'll blog about the details.

I'm also S-L-O-W-L-Y getting back into running.  Going from marathons to walk/running 2 miles is humbling, to say the least.  It feels good to be back at it though.  I'd like to squeeze in some strength training as well.

So, that's where I'm at.  I am going to get 30lbs off.  It has to happen...for me and for my family.  I can't WAIT to walk past a mirror in a department store and see skinny me again!